Posts tagged adoption
Yes We Said It, We Love Fostering Teens

We’ve fostered 17 kids and adopted our two sons, ages 13 and 7. At this point, my husband and I only foster sex-trafficked teens and LGBTQ+ youth- two demographics of kids in care that are unfairly overrepresented. We just had our 15-year-old foster son reunify after several awesome months with him.

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International Adoption: RED FLAGS!

The statement that we have made over and over again throughout our journey is that just because something looks right, doesn’t mean it is right. Red flag after red flag, our family’s perfect international adoption seemed to be crumbling before our eyes. We should have seen the writing on the wall. “Our daughter” is not an orphan, and out of ignorance we nearly molded her into one.

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Being Pro Foster Care Means Being Pro Bio Parents

If you care about family unification and children getting out of the foster system I want to encourage you to invest in the parents. The best way to help parents resettle with their children is to be willing to be their to mentor and guide them if possible. Be a positive influence in their lives where they've maybe never had any. When we receive new children into our care we think about the moms and dads, how would they be feeling? You can do little things like text pics of the kids to mom several times a week, have the kids make her birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, make videos during the week and send those to mom to encourage her. Find ways to let mom know you aren’t trying to “take” her kids away from her but rather that you believe in her and want her kids to remember her.

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Thompson Adoption Day!

Two boys. Elementary school aged. Today.

That was the only information my husband and I received just days after we finished our foster care certification. We hastily built bunk beds (thank you, IKEA!) and got booster car seats, anticipating with excitement and dread (if I’m being honest!) the world-shift we were about to experience. But for five days, the boys didn’t come. Every day was going to be the day, but by the time we put our 10-month baby girl to sleep every night, the boys still hadn’t arrived. Finally, we got a call saying that the boys were not going to be placed with us. Instead, we were asked if we were willing to receive a 12-month old in three hours and pick up her baby sister from the hospital several days later?  We looked at each other -- and the now irrelevant bunk beds and booster seats -- and said YES.

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Nate and Noah's Reunion

“Nate, he’s coming!”

“Noah clap your hands so he can hear you!”

“Noah!! How’s your day Noah?”

A week ago I got a message from Tiffany Harris, adoptive mama to Nate, who’s adoption we documented last summer in Beijing. Nate was adopted from Bethel China, less than a year before his 14th birthday. In China, when children living in orphanages turn 14, they age out. Due to Nate’s blindness, this meant Nate would go live the rest of his life in an institution. Let that sink in.

When we arrived in Beijing, we got to spend some time with Nate and his foster brothers at Bethel China before he met his forever family. One of the boys living in Nate’s foster home was Noah. Noah and Nate are best friends, and although not biologically related, they are brothers.

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On a Plane to Congo

My name is Jen Tallon, and I’m a single 44-year-old Texan in the process of adopting my 8-year-old daughter from the Republic of Congo.

I am currently on a plane to Congo to meet my daughter for the very first time feeling so excited and very nervous. It is such a surreal moment that I’ve dreamt about for such a long time. I’m very mindful that this is a huge moment for my daughter, Mavie, as well. Our meeting in person is the beginning of a massive life change for both of us! I have doubted all I know about kids, my qualifications to be a mom and whether or not she will even like me! 

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Adoption, Hope and Illness

As we forged through the unfamiliar waters of adopting from Liberia, we became aware that our son, Asa, was very sick. His entire little life had been spent in and out of the hospital fighting malaria, pneumonia, measles, and other diseases. And so upon our return to the United States we began seeking answers, and eventually received the diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a terminal genetic disorder characterized by the degeneration of your muscles. 

Never in a million years did we expect the words Muscular Dystrophy to be words that would come into our story.

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Helpful Advice if You Don't Like Your Adopted Child

So here I am, writing a blog post for an organization that I’ve loved for years, about a topic I never, in a million years thought I would write. 

What happens if you don’t like your adopted child?

Here’s the deal, nobody goes into adoption thinking, ‘I’m not going to like my kid.’ Most people walk into adoption with heart eyes, determined spirits and a faith that cannot be shaken. But a very real side of adoption is that many adoptive parents struggle to attach and bond to their children.

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Trauma-Informed Parenting

My children would never have come to heal and find their preciousness without a trauma-informed parenting approach.  Our traditional understanding of parenting would never have reached them and helped them heal from their past experiences. In fact, I believe if we would have parented them with traditional strategies, we would have caused even more trauma. They are not perfect, but they are connected to us and they take our instruction.  They were once orphans, and now, transformed as our sons and daughter, and our family will always be a place of rest, support, and hope for them.

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Seeing Beyond the Behavior: 9 Ways to Help Your Adoptive Child

As a therapist who specialized working with adoptive and foster families, the most consistent concern was how to help a child with behavioral issues. Parents would be confused and baffled by their child’s behavior. They would feel sad, angry, and scared. They wanted to help their precious kiddos, but they didn’t know what to do. If you find yourself in a similar place right now, you’re not alone. 

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Is Adoption Really for You?

Sometimes I believe ignorance can manifests itself into a form of hope that drives humans to do hard things. It’s when the road gets hard that our hope is broken and our ignorance becomes humble wisdom and we are left with 2 choices: Continue down the path we’ve chosen or follow our desire for comfort and peace and ultimately quit.

Adoption is more often than not, the harder path to chose. It can be uncomfortable, painful, and etch away at every part of your being.

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Adoption Gave Me My Voice Back

4 weeks later I had a new label “Pregnant.”

Within an hour of finding out, my ‘church mom’ from college helped me make sense of my new reality. We both knew someone close to the family who had been struggling for years with infertility. I remember her saying, “Laura, you have two options. Knowing you, you could make a great mom. You’d figure out a way to give your child the best life possible and you’d sacrifice your own life if it came down to it. Or, you could turn your burden (of this unplanned pregnancy) into a blessing for a family desperately wanting to have a child.”

That phrase ‘burden to blessing’ really stuck with me. 

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Road Trips and Connecting With Foster and Adoptive Families Along The Way!

“We first adopted Elijah, our very first placement who came to us at eight months old. His biological brother Mattais was our next child we adopted who we had brought home from the hospital as a newborn. The surprise call for baby Liam came a few years later, also a newborn from the hospital. We will tell anyone that the love we have for these boys is as if they had come from our own DNA and no less than that. We are now joyfully raising our tribe of three wild, wonderful boys who are now 6, 8 and 10…”

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How To Support Foster Youth

If every child aging out of foster care THIS year had a home, we'd have a societal saving of $6.5 billion in the United States! For every youth that ages out of foster care and enters a world of homelessness, poverty, unemployment or the criminal justice system, the community loses an engaged and contributing member to society. Instead, society gains a lonely adult often in need of continued, expensive public support. Studies show there's an estimated savings of $235,000 in total public benefits, including child welfare and human services costs, per child for every child that is adopted before aging out of foster care.

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Thrive, Not Just Survive

I’m Sarah Wilson and I’m a CASA advocate. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. I first got involved in CASA in 2014 while still an undergraduate student at the University of Iowa. I have always loved working with children, which is why I decided to study speech pathology.  While working with children with special needs, I felt like I wanted to do more and that I had more to give. However, because I was a student, I felt like my options, as well as, my time, were a bit more limited in how I could reach out to help children in crisis. I had always thought about possibly becoming a foster parent and after doing some research, I found the CASA program and I knew immediately that it was the opportunity I was searching for! 

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Self Preservation is Not a Virtue

My interest in foster care started because of my job as a NICU nurse. My patients came from all over our state, and they were the sick of the sick. We would frequently see patients go home with foster parents while, their birth parents were trying to get back on their feet and create a safe home environment for their children. I mentioned to Clay several times over the last 5 years that we could be foster parents, and he agreed, but we never felt the timing was right. After a year of infertility, I clearly heard the Lord tell me one morning that He had closed my womb so we could open up our home. Clay wasn’t as sure as I was, and was hesitant to agree.

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The Joys of Parenting Foster Youth

From the other room we heard our eldest son whisper, “I know this is scary. When I went to my first home I was scared too. But we are safe and we will feed you and we won’t hurt you at all. I’ll be your buddy.” For the next week, that little boy was never more than two feet away from our eldest son, he was his safe person through that difficult and confusing time. 

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A Life of Passion and Purpose in Foster Care

Years later, here I am, Alexis, a passionate foster momma. International adoption had always been plan A for me, not foster care. When my husband, Todd, and I began dating he jumped right on board with that plan. We began looking into adopting internationally when we were 21 and 22. We were accepted into a program, but when my husband decided to return to school, we decided to put a hold on adopting. 

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