Posts tagged National Adoption Month
Adoption is Choosing Love

How do you compartmentalize a temporary love?

You don’t. You choose love, you choose loss, you choose them, every single day. Whether they will be yours forever or just until tomorrow, you adopt them in your heart for good, because that’s the only love that lasts, the forever kind of love. The love that wrecks you at the thought of them leaving, the love that causes you to re-work your entire schedule for them, your entire life for them.

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On a Plane to Congo

My name is Jen Tallon, and I’m a single 44-year-old Texan in the process of adopting my 8-year-old daughter from the Republic of Congo.

I am currently on a plane to Congo to meet my daughter for the very first time feeling so excited and very nervous. It is such a surreal moment that I’ve dreamt about for such a long time. I’m very mindful that this is a huge moment for my daughter, Mavie, as well. Our meeting in person is the beginning of a massive life change for both of us! I have doubted all I know about kids, my qualifications to be a mom and whether or not she will even like me! 

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Adoption, Hope and Illness

As we forged through the unfamiliar waters of adopting from Liberia, we became aware that our son, Asa, was very sick. His entire little life had been spent in and out of the hospital fighting malaria, pneumonia, measles, and other diseases. And so upon our return to the United States we began seeking answers, and eventually received the diagnosis of Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a terminal genetic disorder characterized by the degeneration of your muscles. 

Never in a million years did we expect the words Muscular Dystrophy to be words that would come into our story.

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Helpful Advice if You Don't Like Your Adopted Child

So here I am, writing a blog post for an organization that I’ve loved for years, about a topic I never, in a million years thought I would write. 

What happens if you don’t like your adopted child?

Here’s the deal, nobody goes into adoption thinking, ‘I’m not going to like my kid.’ Most people walk into adoption with heart eyes, determined spirits and a faith that cannot be shaken. But a very real side of adoption is that many adoptive parents struggle to attach and bond to their children.

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Dear White Parents

How is your home serving your children in their identity as a person of color? If you are a white parent with a child who is not please intentionally and proactively pursue community that looks like your whole family, not just you. This is so important. This is a must. Does your child often wish they were white, like you? Your child will not believe you, that they matter and that their ethnicity is good and right, unless you show them how you value their skin color and history in your whole life.

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Dear Adoptive Parents

If you are a transracial/transcultural family, understanding differences of race, class and culture authentically is just the beginning. Understanding must also be activated into behaviors and infused into your family, extended family and as much as possible into your community. Adding deep love to a deep reflection and understanding of identity, privilege and place in the world as adults and parents, gives children every opportunity to fully embrace their complete identity, to love all parts of themselves and to be prepared for the realities that will echo throughout their lives.

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Sensory Processing Disorder and Adopted Kids!

You’ve adopted your sweet kiddo(s) or you’re in the process of adopting, or your want to adopt in the future! Whatever your story is, you definitely want to be aware of these sensory red flags and participate in a variety of sensory based activities to reduce under or over-responsiveness to sensory input from a variety of environments. Every child is different, every story is unique, and this is my experience and research.

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Trauma-Informed Parenting

My children would never have come to heal and find their preciousness without a trauma-informed parenting approach.  Our traditional understanding of parenting would never have reached them and helped them heal from their past experiences. In fact, I believe if we would have parented them with traditional strategies, we would have caused even more trauma. They are not perfect, but they are connected to us and they take our instruction.  They were once orphans, and now, transformed as our sons and daughter, and our family will always be a place of rest, support, and hope for them.

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Seeing Beyond the Behavior: 9 Ways to Help Your Adoptive Child

As a therapist who specialized working with adoptive and foster families, the most consistent concern was how to help a child with behavioral issues. Parents would be confused and baffled by their child’s behavior. They would feel sad, angry, and scared. They wanted to help their precious kiddos, but they didn’t know what to do. If you find yourself in a similar place right now, you’re not alone. 

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Is Adoption Really for You?

Sometimes I believe ignorance can manifests itself into a form of hope that drives humans to do hard things. It’s when the road gets hard that our hope is broken and our ignorance becomes humble wisdom and we are left with 2 choices: Continue down the path we’ve chosen or follow our desire for comfort and peace and ultimately quit.

Adoption is more often than not, the harder path to chose. It can be uncomfortable, painful, and etch away at every part of your being.

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National Adoption Month 2018

The month of November is National Adoption Month in the United States. Most adoption related organizations are promoting adoption all month and desiring to further the movement. This year, November comes as a sobering month for our family. Because not only are we now adoptive parents, but we are also in the midst of the hardest season of our lives. We are daily fighting to keep peace and begging for endurance and steadfastness. So when it came time to plan for November I just couldn’t share beautiful story after beautiful story (which most people know TAP for), of families meeting their children. 

I wanted to go deeper. 

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