Jacelynn shares the fears that foster children have every time they enter a new home – being unwanted, unloved, not fitting in to the family. She talks about how the love of two of her placements changed the course of her life and encourages everyone who is interested to get involved! Read her story below!
My name is Jacelynn and I was 14 years old when I entered foster care.
The reason I entered? Well… my father was abusive. I was so devastated when I got separated from my family. The feelings of being unwanted and unloved grew inside of me. Six homes, all very different. Some were better than others: I felt cared for and loved, went on vacation with them, and was always included… others made that feeling of being unwanted and unloved stronger. I was abused, yelled at and told that they were only in this whole “foster thing” for the money. I also never really got to see my family while in care: my brother only once, sister once, aunt once, and grandparents once. That’s hard on a growing kid!
Every time I would enter a new home, there were fears of not being good enough for the family. This fear carried a pattern throughout my time in care. At one of my favorite homes with a great and loving family, I still chose to not be adopted because of that same fear: not being good enough and that they would not want me later. I eventually moved back in with my bio mother and then moved right back out because it was not a good place for me to stay.
If we’re being honest here… the system sucks. I thought it was much better before being the foster kid in it. That being said, I loved
my time in foster care because of two of my placements. Without them, I would be homeless! They are true lifesavers. Many foster parents are more then just that; they are heroes that have the opportunity to help so many children from so many bad things that happen in this world. I wouldn't trade my years in foster care for a perfect life at all!
Something all people should know is that not everything they hear is true to every foster kid. Just because a few horror stories are told, doesn’t mean that all foster children are like those stories. I know so many kids who are amazing, beautiful people but no one will give them a chance because of someone else’s actions. Not all of us run away, not all of us are addicted to drugs, are liars or manipulative. We’re just kids.
I would encourage people who are considering fostering to do it. You will fall in love so many times and you will touch so many lives. You have no idea the amazing things that you can do for children who need love. For those of you not considering getting involved, look into it more; don’t fall for what everyone says about us. My fiancé and I have talked about fostering in the future and are definitely looking forward to it!
– Jacelynn, Former Foster Year